I have searched for them for years, so you don’t have to.
“Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
I have read so many books about personal development. Each book I read comes with a new framework for a good life.
The more I consume books, the more frustrated I feel. It was so dead simple. That was what I read in every book. Yet it was always a different simple truth.
After many years of searching, I have finally found them. They have been hiding in plain sight. Or maybe, like all of you, I have been seduced by a more complex solution.
1. Work hard and smart
Most of you have been told that working is the key to success in life. You work. You get paid. Then you can buy material things to be happy.
Then at some point, you realize that there is a catch.
You work hard. You get promoted. You lock on the next peak. You hike through valleys of hail. You swim your sweat to the top. You have bled your energy into the new rooftop.
You sit down on your new throne. You look around. There is a lake reflecting your smile. I made it, you say to yourself.
The place is empty. Joy has already left while you were on your journey. You are cold. You are exhausted. Yet you love to work hard. You look up.
Oh, another mountain to climb. Shit, I am exhausted, your body tells you. You ignore the signal. You resume your journey.
You burn out amidst your journey to the next mirage. There is always one before you. No matter how high you are, there will always be eyes looking down on you.
Yes, you should work. Yes, working hard is necessary. Yet it is not the only ingredient to a good life. Work hard AND smart.
Be like water. Nothing can stop you. Grind in, grind out. Yet take time to rest. Sometimes some alternative routes can bring you to the same destination.
It’s all about working hard and smart.
2. Eat healthy
To accomplish anything in life, you need energy. That is the most scarce resource for each of you grinding out there.
You just eat whatever food you are provided with. Because you know, let me just ingest. I don’t really care about how I digest.
You see eating as a necessary evil to accomplish your goals. That is what is written in every self-help book. Truth be told, most of them don’t even mention the importance of feeding the body while they feed your mind with junk ideas.
You try to eat fast. You focus on eating junk food. You just Uber eat your way to life. Generally, you want it fast and cheap.
Here I am, said processed food. You take in many additives and chemical garbage. Damn, I am eating more. Yet I have never been so hungry.
Yep, that's junk food in a nutshell. The more you ingest, the less your body digests.
You are a human. You are part of Nature. You are an expression of the universe. Have you seen a fit Kanguru go to Mcdonald's?
Suppose you answered yes, welcome to Aussies in the room. I have heard that everything is possible in Australia.
Processed food was invented maybe 150 years ago. As humans, we have been on Earth for millions of years.
Our ancestors survived because they ate healthily. Your body has not yet evolved to process all the synthetic chemicals on the periodic table of elements.
What does eating healthy mean?
It is difficult to answer that question for you. You might be a vegan or have some specific definition of healthy food.
One rule of thumb: eat less processed food and more organic to the best of your abilities.
3. Exercise
With urbanization, cars, and airplanes, we can easily travel the world. With computers, we spend most of our time in front of a computer.
Yes, that is precisely what I am doing while writing this article. I know: practice what you preach. I will get there.
Modern lives consist in jumping from one box to another. Your house is a box. Your car is a box. Your desk is a box.
You rarely use your feet as in walking. You have so many things to accomplish that it is all about speed.
I mean: who get time to exercise?
I am no physician. I don’t know what is good for you. I know our ancestors were fit because they hunted for food. Now everything can be delivered to your doorstep with just one click.
You can Uber yourself from one location to another. You take escalators when shopping. You take lifts when at work.
Your body is like: “Dude, you are taking care of the whole universe except for me. I mean, shit. I am your only vessel for life”.
As a payback, your body decays faster than the speed of your Uber drive. You develop many cardiovascular diseases. You age faster. You get weaker.
Your body is your spaceship. YOLO: You Only Lease One. Yes, your body is on lease. In the end, you will give it back to Earth.
You better take care of it as if your life depends on it because it does. (Yes, I know, it sounds cliché. I am just saying, though.)
Walk more daily. Take less the escalators. Take more the stairs. There are no shortcuts to going up.
Life is all about motion. Death is all about rigidity. Everything living is moving in a certain way. Make sure that you are carrying more every day.
Exercise your way to life. Move or be removed.
4. Focus on Building healthy relationships
We live in a moment in human history where communication has never been more accessible. We are more than 8 billion souls on planet Earth.
Yet like you, I have felt alone today more than ever. Yes, I can be part of an online community. Yes, I might have thousands of connections or friends on social media platforms.
But if I were to die today, not many of them would show up to my funeral.
You are being tricked. You confuse the number of your digital relations with the meaning of your physical relationships.
Today everything can be reduced to two actions behind a screen. Either you click, or you swipe. You can click the like button and get that dopamine hit. You can swipe left or right.
You look at your smartphone. You have One hundred thousand followers. You have thousands of friends on social media.
You think that all those connections are tangible relations. You are being fooled.
Even worse, while building your online presence, you are distancing yourself from your partner, friends, family, or the community of people around you.
Build meaningful relationships. Having ten real friends than a thousand fake friends online is better.
Yes, it is not as easy as clicking a button or swiping left or right. It requires not only efforts to create them. It also requires efforts to maintain those meaningful relationships.
You need to be present. You need to show up regularly. You must be there for them, not just by sharing a link on your social media platform.
You need to first seek understanding before trying to be understood.
Those relationships are like trees. You have to plant the seed. You have to water it for years, day in, day out.
Those are not virtual trees in a metaverse. You cannot externalize taking care of them to a virtual bot.
Each relationship is a specific tree with its own rhythm. You have to sit before its side. You have to hug it. You have to feel its presence.
Then you can reap some benefits. And you start over again.
Final Thoughts
You can read as many books as you like. You will have as many versions of what a good life should be.
All you will get is something I call: Netflix Paralysis. You will be so overwhelmed by the options that you will freeze.
A good life is as simple as focusing on the four following areas:
- Working hard AND smart
- Eating healthy
- Exercising
- Building healthy relationships.
Everything else is a mirage. Don’t be fooled by all the complex options out there.
Take a piece of paper. Write down those four lines. Put that paper in your pocket. Each day, reach out to the paper.
Read it out loud, apply the rules, and enjoy your good life.
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